A little mid-week humour to lighten the mood

This made my wife laugh out loud. :smile:

1 Like

Made me laugh out loud, because that’s what I did to the cashier to demonstrate the English meaning when he said he had flashed the large bag of croquettes which were still in the chariot.

I hasten to add I was fully clothed underneath the jacket. :smiley:

2 Likes

Vegan

8 Likes

5

Reminds me of Chic Murray seated on a flight from the Western Isles to Glasgow next to an American. The man, having spent a rather damp and expensive weekend, declared Scotland to be the a…hole of the world.
"Are you just passing through? " asked Chic

8 Likes

8 Likes

5 Likes

6 Likes

The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your Motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”
Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.”
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.
Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren’t you the inventor of women? "God said, "Ah, yes. " "Well, " said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention.” God was somewhat taken back, and when He asked what the flaws might be, Arthur Davidson produced a list for Him to read.

  1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions.
  2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
  3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
  4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust and finally,
  5. The maintenance costs are outrageous.

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there and it may be true that My invention is flawed… " God said to Arthur. “But the last time that I checked, more men are riding My invention than yours.”

4 Likes

Gosh that manages to be so awful in so many ways :roll_eyes:and isn’t funny either.

3 Likes

Opportunity knocks, then!

1 Like

The Harley Joke? I can delete it if you find it distasteful - offence isn’t meant to be part of this.

I’m not offended, it is just terrible, it makes me think of what I remember of a particular type of dreadful leaden 1970s humour.
No need to delete! :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

Something to offend the God squad

2 Likes

Not sure why that would offend anyone?

2 Likes

There seem to be soooo many words we can no longer use. The latest debacle Brownies in Canada completely threw me. And I’m wary of the magnetic attraction to lightning on this website.

1 Like

In Saudi.

A professor at a Texas University was giving a lecture on the supernatural.
To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in Ghosts ??”
About 90 students raise their hands.

“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe, do any of you think you have seen a ghost ??”
About 40 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to or touched a ghost ?”
About 3 students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost ?”
Way in the back, Abdul raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says, “Son, in all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no-one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The big student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So Abdul, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost !!”

Abdul replied, “Ah sorry. From way back there, I thought you said ‘Goats’ !!”

4 Likes

An old favourite

8 Likes

Ha! Ha! Love the sandals :joy:

2 Likes

Or 'Jesus boots ’ as a friend used to call them.

2 Likes