The other day my wife said to me, “You’re not even listening to me.”
I thought, “That’s a funny way of starting a conversation.”
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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”
“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
“It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” she responded.
“I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?”
“I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.”
He said, “Do you have a real grudge?”
“No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one.”
“Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
“Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes.”
“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”
“Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.”
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”
“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!”
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A vicar comes into the pub and tells everyone about a Biblical tribe called the Samsonites.
‘They were stranded in the desert with no food and no drink,’ the vicar said, ‘but some rather nice luggage.’
Credit to Barry Cryer in The Oldie.
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Why would you purposely set out to offend your fellow SF contributors?
Particularly when the cartoon itself is not offensive.
Two men are playing golf on a course next to a road.
Suddenly, a hearse passes by with a coffin in the back, on the way to a funeral. One of the golfers takes off his hat and says to the other one, ‘I hope you don’t mind. Just wanted to show a bit of respect.’
The other golfer says, ‘That’s so thoughtful of you.’
And the first golfer says, ‘Well, she was a good wife.’
Credit Barry Cryer via The Oldie.
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No! Topical irony.
For what it’s worth, I am effectively in the God Squad, as a lifelong chorister. Sorry it I offended. Luckily, Christians can take a little gentle self mockery.
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And at the entrance to my former proposed exit point, an announcement of the extention of the remote camera locations:
Bramcote Crematorium, Bramcote
They’ll still be watching you after you’ve gone. 
That’s more bitter than funny. 
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Irony. Or, tragedy 
When the feelings gone and you can’t go on? 
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A lovely boss of mine decided to go on a Saga cruise with his missus and apparently there was rampant wife-swapping going on (they didn’t participate)
Exactly.
Iwas querying why you put in your caption.
Context. The preceding posts had taken offence. My comment was mocking. Clearly, lost in transliteration 
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