Youre6on form tonight
While we were away I tried to conserve data usage so didn’t visit many websites. Back home again, it’s not a problem, and I’d neglected the humour thread for too long.
I ashore you not a shot was taken and no pigeon was harmed.
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Meanwhile, over the sea… 
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Here’s one for @toryroo , I first heard it in Sydney back in the '60s when I was intending to buy a ticket back to Blighty for a holiday.
A bloke walks into a travel agent in Sydney to buy a ticket to Blighty but finds to his horror that he is a shilling short of the fare.
Panicked he rushed into the street and demanded of the first man he saw ‘can you lend me a shilling I need it for a ticket to England.’ Immediately the man digs into his pocket and growls ‘here’s 2 bob, take one of yer pommy mates with yer’.
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Another, related to the above was when I had my ticket and packed up and off to the airport and was really touched that a dozen or so of my taxi driving mates came to see me off. No small thing because we worked at night and this was in the daytime. Seeing that I was touched one of them commented ‘we just wanted to make sure you got on the plane.’
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Oh yes! happy memories of my marble collection which I guarded like treasure when I was a kid. mind you, in the 50’s it was treasure! later moved on to jacks and five-stones. Such Happy Days 
which I can definitely still remember… hmm although not always sure what day it is today…
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My old alarm clock gave the date and day. It went kapput so I got a new one and it only gives date and time. So I know what you mean - not only with the clock but with the brain.
Sometimes I wonder even where I am. Know the feeling ??? 
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Just as bad, if not worse… it’s OH’s job to change our calendar sitting on my dressing table, right opposite my side of the bed … he does it every morning on his way to get our first cuppa…
trouble is, sometimes he will later doubt himself and ask me.. “did I already do that, did you see?” and I (who will have watched him do it) have to say “not got a clue” and then we both try to work out what the date actually was yesterday (some hope) …
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It’s always the men who get up and get the first cuppa isn’t it?
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I think you should all have an Apple Watch like mine, I took it off earlier today to protect it from the blood, and it got all excited, loads of little green lights flashing on the back which is magnetic for the charger pad. Perhaps it though it was getting an extra charge…or that I had fallen down a mountain.
The little green lights are there to monitor your pulse.
Without being smart ..that is exactly the reason why I have a rigid rigmarole about filling my daily medicine trays .. Never take the pills at the same time as filling the trays ..always ensure there has been a time gap and that means leaving the room …
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