good idea but take care choosing the nationality it could offend 
I knew a sheepdog who likes eating the raddle crayons and produced bright blue/red/green turds.
Just looked into this thread. Here in Brittany we have the opposite zebra crossing problem. Drivers here are so excessively considerate that you shouldnāt stand on the pavement anywhere near a crossing, or they will stop. Several times, to save embarrassment Iāve crossed even through I wasnāt intending to (then crossed back after the car has gone).
When I read Matās comment that zebra crossings āare simply not respected in the same way as in UKā my first thought was: no, they are much better respected here.
There are huge cultural differences across France - caution always required when observing behaviour in one or some localities then assuming they are characteristic of āthe Frenchā.
(No noticeable dog poo problem here either -must say Iāve never really thought about that one though.)
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iāve always thought you are a lovely bloke - this has totally confirmed it 
Brilliant! Love your style - Iām going to nick your phrases (on thing that pisses me off is that I canāt eloquently express my pissed offāness in French so I love to collect good phrases!). We so need a coffee in a garden!
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Hello Mr Generalized Anxiety Disorder,
Just a suggestion. How about not really worrying about it. Pay attention to when you cross the road and everything will generally be OK. Dog poo also.
Enjoy living and stop worrying about things that really donāt matter much.
Regards,
Richy.
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In France and Italy though I always worry about being rear ended when I stop for someone on a pedestrian crossing. Iāve had so many close shaves when itās clear the person behind me had made no provision to stop.
It seens particularly confusing to the person behind me when the pedestrian has only moved a short way onto the crossing or, worse, if they are clearly about to step onto it but havenāt yet. The car behind me seems to think Iāve stopped for nothing.
In England if you donāt lift your foot off the accelerator as soon as you see anyone on the pavement hovering anywhere near a pedestrian crossing then itās a fail point on your driving test.
This could well end up looking like cocktail sausages on sticks.
Dear Richard,
Welcome to SF.
In case you havenāt yet read enough on the site for it to have become clear, we operate a dinner party ethos here. In other words, please behave online as you would if you were sitting in my kitchen.
I doubt very much whether you would have addressed the OP in a similar manner if sat in my kitchen. And if you had, I would at the very least have given you A Look. And I am sure the other guests would have done the same.
You might like to edit your post 
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Iām beginning to think Brittany is in some parallel universe to the rest of us. 
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Totally agree about the poo. Thereās so much of it on street paths I wonder sometimes if it causes people to get hit by cars, as we strive to avoid it. I canāt understand why there are no dog poo bins anywhere either, and I suppose that would help, a lot.
Last time I was in Paris I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of dog pooā¦when we lived there it was a pervasive 
problem but things seem to have changed for the better. Maybe the motorbikes with poo vacuum cleaners that used to terrorise people on pavements have workedā¦
I rarely see dog poo in the streets here - I am a bit puzzled though! The council has put little dispensers containing bags for such purposes around the town but no indication of what you then do with it. On the other hand, people must know because I donāt see the bags lying around either - when I was in the UK I occasionally saw them hanging from hedges or branches of treesā¦
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Are you suggesting a little manscaping is needed?
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How about a waxing?
I know - itās a recurring issue - I read peopleās accounts on here of all sorts of problems they have with the behaviour of their neighbours - not just driving and dogs - and think āCan that really be true?ā
Another example on SF was lack vegetarian restaurants/options - here we have lots of both - honestly! And itās not just SurviveFrancers - the same myths get reproduced in the media and books about ālife in Franceā - because generally they are not about āFranceā at all, but the difference between Paris, or a bit of the south of France, and London or UK commuterland.
Nor is it just Brittany vs the rest of France - in a previous discussion about drivers, for example, I remember @Peter_Goble and others also commenting on how good the drivers in Normandy are generally.
That is apparently a very stupid way some people have of objecting to being forced to pick up after their dogā¦
Or even a waning. 
@Geof_Cox eof I have noticed, and been annoyed by, people standing chatting near zebras with no intention of crossing, never seen any so polite as you though Geof, to suddenly wake up and take an extra visit to the far side. 
@KarenLot I am always wary of being rear ended when being required to stop and, after a very quick perusal of the likely escape routes for me, ditches, fields etc. my eyes remain glued to the mirrors until I interpret the ābody languageā of a following vehicle. More difficult with zebras though, not many escape routes in towns. 
Maybe it is a north vs. south thing as in the UK. Iām always shocked by the poor, inconsiderate driving in the south of England - and found it just as shocking when visiting the south from the north of England too!
Hi - please add your surname as per our T&C - thanks! (Just update it in your profile) x