And you should also take good care of you - hence the importance of every possible type of care/support from the community (including respite care) so that you are protected. I have friends who have cared for their daughter for nigh on 20 years and they have always been aware that if they look after their own health and wellbeing they are better able to be effective carers for her - and they have been.
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Agreed! Taking care of yourself and maintaining good wellbeing routines. You have elements with your lake swims and dog walks. You might like some of the wim hof method stuff. He’s a kind of well-being through cold guru. Another tool I like and anyone reading can use is woebot (unfortunate name). It’s basically a chatbot app designed by psychologists to help with managing well-being.
The brain freeze after the 2nd length is more severe now but I might have found a solution. Years ago I bought a rubber diving helmet but hardly ever used it because it was so tight and difficult to pull on and off. I tried it this morning (9C) and it worked, no forehead pain, but it could do with pulling down a bit more to make it easier to take a breath through the mouth at the turns and the goggles even seem to have a reasonable fit. I am always sad to climb out after 2, the water feels fine as I do swim very fast, so if I have solved that problem, maybe I can go back to 4. 
Less good news, after several reasonably good days with Fran getting more use of her damaged arm (but less so with the fingers, I have to cut all her food up), today despite several requests and offers of help from me to assist her (vigorously refused) to get up out of bed, and an equal number of promises from her to do so, she never actually made it and is still there.
So her dinner is still there in the kitchen and she has had no food, water or toilet visit for 24 hours, and counting.
She has her long awaited visit to the doctor on Tuesday at 10.30am, goodness knows how I will get her there on time, but she really ought to go. I might have to insist physically, despite the noise. Or if I fail, ring and tell them why and see what they say.
Super for brain freeze news. I’m trying to visualise this Brit in diving helmet entering a muddy pond somewhere in the French countryside.
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And vital/normal anywhere near a river, that probably used to flood in the olden days before the barrages were built.
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If tomorrow doesn’t work out… as you say, your Doc does need to know why.
Once your Doc realizes just what difficulties you are encountering… he/she can arrange for an ambulance/taxi to collect your wife for all/any medical appointments… the SAMU type folk will be very gentle, but firm… and she will get to see the Doc and be given the care she needs.
best of luck
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Ha ha, well it didn’t work, no brain freeze but the effort of getting it on and off is not worth it, also my goggles (essential to see where I am going) won’t make a good seal on it.
Next plan, I am going to cut it in half and use it for a headband to protect my forehead. 
If tomorrow doesn’t work out… as you say, your Doc does need to know why.
Once your Doc realizes just what difficulties you are encountering… he/she can arrange for an ambulance/taxi to collect your wife for all/any medical appointments… the SAMU type folk will be very gentle, but firm… and she will get to see the Doc and be given the care she needs.
Yes, thank you, they were very good when they took her to hospital. After tomorrow, the next rdv she has is the follow up to the fall, in Perigueux next week but that was re-arranged by M-P for the afternoon, so may not be so difficult for me.
Then she has the Alzheimer test, also in Perigueux, in January on the 26th at 11am. By that time we might have something organised with the ambulance.
48 hours in bed but I finally got her to agree to help to arise this morning, but that was only because she was moaning she was cold.
So she was up and toiletted and dressed by 9 and I gave her her Fortimel after a glass of lemonade and pill, then set about my own 2nd coffee. We filter it and then micro a glass when required, I forgot it in all the fuss and it overflowed, boiled dry and congealed. So that had to be cleaned, but carefully, it was red hot. Cleaned up some sick from one of the dogs during the night then turned again to my coffee. As I did so I saw that she had tried to hold the can in her left, still not fully recovered, hand, lost control and spilled it all down her warm jacket and skirt. So off with all that again and on with other stuff I found then into the washing machine. Not much to clean up on the floor, the dogs have been well Fortimelled this morning, but I filled the mop bucket once again and finished the job. Then hopped about on one foot to remove a small pine needle that had gone into my foot while fetching the mop etc.
Then, as it looks cold out there I got her really warm and long woollen coat and struggled her into it. 9.45 now so time to set off. Lifted her to her feet and we shuffled to the first doorway, and step down. She got one foot down but couldn’t manage the other and then began to sink towards the floor. Knowing I would not be able to pick her up again I desperately supported her and dragged her back to the chair again. 3 times I rang the doc to cancel before I got an answer and explained that, alone, I could not bring her. They will ring me back. When they do I will ask for an ordonnance for a wheelchair from the pharmacy, then at least I will be able to take her to Perigueux next week.
At least we know now the cause of my abdomen pain recently, which had been cleared up several days ago. It is back, but thankfully easing off again.
I lost it, mentally, this morning. It frightened the dogs, and I have a sore toe due to kicking the waste bin in my temper. 
Please excuse the rant. It is therapy.
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Please rant as much as you need to.
You are doing your best in very difficult circumstances.
Will you be able to manage the wheelchair, if you have steps at the house… ??
Might be an idea to ask for an ordonnance for SAMU to collect your wife… they will be equipped and able to get her out of the house and into the vehicle, so gently… and you will be able to either go with her or follow on in your own vehicle…
again, perhaps this is something your French neighbour could become involved in as she will be able to explain/talk things through on your behalf.
sending positive vibes in your direction…
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Does it need the SAMU? With an ALD she has the right to medicalised taxis, and I’ve seen them often enough helping frail elderly into the medical centre/hospital outpatient etc. Your firmed Marie-Paule will know the system and probably also the local taxi drivers.
And well done for just kicking the waste bin! In your position the crockery wouldn’t have been safe with me.
On more cheerful news, my BIL is still in hospital. And still thinks he is in a hotel, one with lousy room service, but has stopped trying to leave every 10 minutes so things somewhat calmer.
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You’ve reminded me to measure the kitchen doorway before I go the shops this afternoon for the weekly, after my haircut, just to see and measure what they have. The answer is yes, I am sure I could manage the steps with a chair, the problem is with steadying her to walk up and down them. It would give us more independence than relying on an overstretched service like the ambulances.
But you are right, they are really well equipped, gentle and professional.
The medicalised taxis are not overstretched! Look in the car park at your medical centre……
Well M-P tried everywhere, including the taxis when we needed to get her to hospital without success. Only her, unbeknownst to me, declaration that she had had a 2nd fall and was urgent broke the jam.
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I have experience of using both SAMU and medical taxi… for elderly and infirm folk.
After reading David’s descriptions of his wife’s action/reactions/difficulties… I suggested SAMU as (in my opinion) they are better equipped etc to gently deal with whatever comes their way…
Of course, David’s wife might well behave immaculately and be a model passenger in the Medical Taxi… I do hope so.
EDIT: Experience has shown me that Pompiers react to an “emergency callout” much faster than SAMU. (certainly in our area)
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Yes in our area you always get the pompiers first too. They can get to you far more quickly than Samu. Round here the Samu will only come to you for an emergency at the request of the pompiers.
Recently our very frail neighbour had several journeys to hospital with a medicalised private taxi which is essentially a private ambulance (all paid for). Had wheelchair lift and everything, plus two people to help her, her oxygen tank and her drip…
As ever in France - a huge country - there are local differences.
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Ah… by the sound of it, your medical taxis are much, much more complex (better equipped) than those here in our part. Ours are more or less a nice large car, with careful driver…
hence my suggestion re SAMU.
As you say… huge country… we all speak of our own experiences, but they can/do differ enormously…
Many years ago OH had a smallish intervention at Bordeaux, when the Dr heard that we had taken two trams and a bus to get to the hospital he arranged for OH to have a medicar after the op. We actually enjoyed the initial journey, seeing Bordeaux, but were grateful for the medicar and OH was impressed with the speed and efficiency the driver collected all relevant paperwork etc before he whisked him home 
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Rant away. In my case pompiers are great because the station is 500m from the house. We always give a nice banknote for their calendar hoping that encourages them in times of need! Last time was when I fell in the (empty) swimming pool. 2 weeks off fourteen staples in the head. We kind of had a regular taxi for my mum and that worked well and they really took care of her. But they are near civilisation.
We were at Clinic Francheville recently and noticed a new poster, since our last visit there three weeks ago. Basically it read not to expect medicar/ambulance as a given, including ALD. Think about whether one has alternative means. We read this as maybe some are abusing this service!
Any thoughts?
Hi Lily… that poster has actually been around for a few years… certainly well before covid hit.
If I recall correctly from when this change was reported in the papers… it was felt that a great deal of money could be saved simply by making this service only available “on prescription” for those whose situation meant they actually needed “transporting”…
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