French social care for elderly

Health Care & Carte Vitale
361

No, the space just doesn’t allow it but it is such a small house that it would not be an advantage anyway. Her bedroom, part of the original 3 rooms, leads straight onto the kitchen and then the bathroom at the other end. The newer part, added in 2000, despite being higher up the slope is in fact one small step down into the living room which gives access to the exit from the building via the front terrasse. Turn left and that is where the infamous 3 concrete steps down to ground level are.

The 2nd bedroom and a small room full of books (and other ‘stuff’) are beyond the living room and she doen’t need to go there, as with the rear veranda, although fully double glazed and effectively another room, is entered from both kitchen and living room, though we keep the latter doors closed meaning less to heat. This is because that veranda has an ever open door, in daytime, for the dogs’ freedom and drafts are reduced by a heavy duty curtain acting as a dog flap.

This small house suits us and, in the present circumstances, is a real advantage as she hasn’t far to go for all her needs. Our greatest problem is that we are both committed hoarders. Little is thrown away in case it comes in handy later and indeed this has paid off on many occasions but, where to keep it and, more importantly, where to find it later, is our frequent cry. :rofl:

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362

I am guessing the list of works that can be arranged/financially assisted is quite specific. I’ll bet moving a wall is unlikely to feature. However something like adding grab handles for which unfortunately the existing partition is not strong enough (ahem…) requiring the partition to be moved (incidentally…) so that it can be strengthened to safely anchor the grab handles… might turn out to be on the “list”. It must be somewhere online.

Hence I am absolutely not an expert here…but thinking again that if a little knowledge of how helpful building works might appear within a need you express that is on the list…so open it with a need that does trigger them thinking yes that’s on the list but talk around methods including their recommendations and your wondering if the most practical way is to move the wall slightly … again I am not an expert.

But have had friends do similar with planning permissions and look at the law to argue a case and win rather than what’s morally right (which if not stated in the law won’t win). In the same way if moving a wall is not on the list then you’d need to work out what it comes under that is on the list

363

Yes all for the future, we’ll see how she improves once she gets home, but one comment, and I know this is not France but England but it does give an idea of what can be done sometimes.

Our daughter in law has long suffered with MS and struggles to get around their, equally small, house. The authorities decided she needed a wet room and took out 2 walls, moved the kitchen and installed it such that she could get herself right into the shower with her wheelchair before transferring to a stool. Not expecting that and maybe wouldn’t happen here, but it does show what lengths some authorities are willing to go to.

I can conquer the steps problem for free simply by ejecting some things and cutting back on some vegetation to allow her wheelchair free access to the car. And I can get the wall removed and replaced at our own expense. It is prefabricated and has only been there 5 years or so after the whole floor of the combined kitchen and bathroom needed replacing. I could use the same builder but he did so many things wrong and failed to do others promised that I am reluctant to do so. Which is why I asked the nurse if her department could recommend anyone. Not so apparently. Trouble is though, that all 3 of the most recent let downs have been highly recommended. :roll_eyes:

As I say, we’ll see how we go on after she has been home a while.

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364

You surely have some claim on the Builder… his Insurance should cover if he didn’t do work correctly… and/or didn’t do what was included in his Devis.

365

Yes, but the final outcome was largely satisfactory, but with poor workmanship and things not done which were promised, which could have been done if his reluctance was signalled earlier enough, opening a wall to give more sunlight and thus free heat in winter. for example. His fears of removing a supporting wall, met and agreed, but the next day his mind changed, but if I had known when the whole floor was out while he put in extra supports the same could have been done regarding the wall support, but by then it was too late, he had finished and tiled the floor. Little things like that which led me to believe that he was anxious to finish and get on to a renovation job of his own. Finally, the agreed payment system went out the window, one third on acceptance of the devis and the balance on completion, became a demand halfway through the job for payment of all that had been done to that point ‘because he has suppliers to pay at the month ending’. I paid, both him and his sub-contracted worker, but it leaves a nasty taste. Finally, Fran, seeing how fragile she was at one point he took me aside and asked ‘if she dies before we finish, will I still get paid?’ FFS!

You can see why I don’t want to let him back in, the above were not the whole story, just a rather large snapshot. A shame because his wife (they are both English) is a lovely person and speaks fluent French which would have been very helpful at certain times.

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366

:astonished::astonished: not a nice experience at all and I’m not surprised you don’t want him back in, are they from your area or out with it.

367

These people take advantage of others with whom they share a language, there are quite a few of them about. Awful.

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368

I can only agree completely with this @vero . I only ever once hired an English person to do work for me in France, and it was a bit of a disaster. Since then, I have only ever hired French artisans who have always done a good job at a reasonable price and on time.

Edit: That’s not to say there aren’t good English artisans, there are, but this experience and the experiences of others I know has put me off.

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369

We had a superb English artisan who did the main building work I could not do on my two houses, he employes two French an electrician and a plumber so they do the whole job if needed, the problem is getting hold of him as he works in France, UK , Italy and Germany.

370

I have an excellent English builder near us in 46. He’s established for a long time in France working and fulltime resident operating his business within the French system. In fact he is excellent on French requirements and even though he’s not an electrician but a builder, knew some exact electrical requirements (due to having had to understand for himself) 2 French electricians had not been able to state to me.

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As always… there are good and bad.

I know some excellent Brits who do good work… and are correctly in the system with full Ins etc…

I know some awful Brits who definitely take advantage of any lack of French which the client might show… appalling… but if the client insists on choosing XXX when advised that XXX’s credentials do not stand up to scrutiny etc etc… that’s their choice …

difficult when they do work over and above their Insurance cover… folk really should check and take notice…

One chap blithely told me… ah well, I’ll just take a chance… aaaargh.

372

There is also a good English architect near us who’s been recommended to us by English and French locals, but I think he’s retired now.

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I am nationality blind when it comes to artisans. But how else are we to proceed when we receive only 3 recommendations at different times who all happen to be English, and useless, while at the same time struggling to find recommendations from French, or other, people about French artisans?

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Provided the Artisan has the suitable French 10-year Insurance etc for whatever work he does… nationality is not important…

375

The ambulance arrived with Fran yesterday at 4pm and she was duly brought into the house by the 2 helpful medics. Only thing is, the wheelchair which we hired was not sent with her so I have driven down there today to get it back.

She seems fine and the lump on her shoulder, presumably the dislocation, seems to have gone down but she is unable to give me any details of what was, or wasn’t done. She says that the surgeon came to visit her but did nothing and can’t even remember him touching her. She certainly hasn’t had an operation, that much is obvious, so my own opinion is that maybe he relocated the joint, perhaps under local anaesthetic, or even general, but she doesn’t remember leaving the room.

She has had a good appetite since returning and she did say that she hadn’t been fed at all yesterday, which seems hard to believe. She says she was asked if she wanted tea or coffee yesterday morning, chose coffee and the nurse went away and never returned. :roll_eyes: But that is Fran, she takes so long to make the simplest of choices that perhaps the poor girl lost the will to live. :rofl:

Anyway she seems to be fine, as much as she ever is, and if this improved appetite continues, things can only be better. Till that position is clearer I will take no further action on other remedies, apart from asking the doctor about the bed and clearing the terrasse so I can get her out of the house on the wheelchair.

She has a follow up appointment with the same surgeon on the 27th of December, probably another x-ray I should think.

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376

Agreed, since owning this place, around 30 years, we have had one plumber, the 1st, who was beyond excellent but sadly died, another who was good, but then disappeared, and 2 or 3 that simply never turned up in the first place, all French

No French builders have been found but a small French firm did do an excellent job of constructing the kitchen veranda, which did involve some concreting work because there used to be steps there as it was the original entrance.

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Yes, we know of three situations where the work proposed was not appropriate or even unnecessary and/or the cost was ridiculously high. And we were charged double the price for some pool equipment we could have bought and installed ourselves. Le prix anglais. Only once though.

378

A good day yesterday in one respect but very bad in another, my own temper pushed to the limit.

We both got our 3rd jabs at the surgery with no waiting, but the doctor who did it was not ours but the other one in the practice. So when I mentioned that we had a couple of other issues to discuss, that I was perfectly ready to book an appointment for as this was a vaccine visit, he cut me off mid sentence with a ‘no, no, no, only with Dr. Parisot, I am only doing vaccinations’. Fair enough, I half expected it though perhaps not so rudely.

During our 15 minute ‘recuperation’ time I went to see the receptionist about making an appointment and she said the first available was January the 31st. :astonished: I explained that the 2 issues were urgent and she allowed me to elaborate. As Fran can no longer be relied upon to sign her own name I have a form to back up our ‘Life’ certs for the UK pension people giving me the legal right to sign for her. But I needed an attestation from the doctor that she was incapable. Fortunately she later got the doctor to sign such a document and sent it to me by email. But the other thing apparently can wait. As has been said, both on here and by the APA visitor (nothing to do with us, ask the doctor) we could get an ordonnance for a single mechanical bed to allow me to safely get Fran up each day. I explained the importance and that it is possible that her initial fall was less serious in that no bones were affected, but that, in the tiny space I have to manoeuvre, I had inadvertantly dislocated her shoulder and might well do it again to avoid her being totally bedridden. A blank look was my reward and no such ordonnance has been forthcoming. My mood was not helped by the fact that, as I very briefly went out the door to get the papers she asked for, another woman nipped in and took my place. A conversation ensued which lasted more than 10 minutes and included the bloody doctor who happened to go in with some documents and entered into the general discussion, the same doctor who was so pressed that I was not even allowed to finish a sentence during the jab session.

On the way home, Jules the Beauceron, let out a loud scream right in my ear which frightened the life out of me and, in shock, I yelled at him to be quiet. He has this habit each time he sees an animal or human outside of the car, but usually he has been further back before I rejigged the car as a car with the back seats back in place, rather than a dog carrying transporter. To make matters worse, Fran glared at me with real aggression and said ‘calm down’. ‘CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN? Easy to say coming from someone who has to do absolutely nothing in this life but eat and bloody sleep’. I really lost it and had a headache when we got home.

Today I am calm, but have a terrible feeling of hopelessness. And very, almost weepy. I can’t seem to snap out of it. And she has this habit of ignoring me, when I speak sometimes there is no response. Not just no answer, but not a flicker of recognition that I have been heard, as if I didn’t exist. It is very wearing.

Time to go and feed the dogs, they are overdue but not fussing, and they eat what is put before them with no arguement. Terrible as it sounds, I am learning to adopt the same attitude towards Fran, she is apparently incapable of making any decision of what she would like for dinner. 2 choices is one choice too many.

I feel a little better now. From a receptionist who thinks it is ok to risk breaking someone’s shoulder, a doctor who doesn’t give a shit, a dog who, otherwise cuddly and gentle seem intent on splitting my eardrum, to a woman who is locked in her own world and seems to only come out of it to criticise or keep up a continuous moaning complaint at being helped, it is a great relief to know someone is, at least, listening.

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379

Oh no that is such an accretion of soul destroying things, you must be exhausted. I hope you can talk to your usual dr and that you get the help you need. I wish you fortitude and better days.

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He was French, so this isn’t really rude by French standards, but efficient. Many French people are far more direct than I am accustomed to be, and friends have been training me to say what I mean straight out rather than taking three times as long to say something less clear! So try not to take it personally.

It sounds a harrowing day, and that sort of stress it completely exhausting. So not surprised you feel a bit weepy. And it can be a good thing as allows you to reset yourself. Something nice for dinner and a good sleep?

(I don’t want to add to your burdens, but perhaps if you haven’t already you need to do the admin necessary to get curatelle for Fran? Tutelle, curatelle, sauvegarde de justice : quelles différences ? | Service-Public.fr)